(no subject)

[aprilstarchild]

I just threw a minor hissy fit in the facebook comments of a friend I don't even know very well. Hopefully this doesn't bite me in the ass.

Said friend is going on a long bike tour and asked for recommendations of novels to bring with her. There were many suggestions offered, both by myself and others.

To which a woman (I'll call her K) responded: "Ugh, this thread is making me depressed about people's taste. De gustibus non est disputandum, I suppose."

Me: "K...that's a little insulting, don't you think?"

K: "Eh, I just call em like I see em."

Me: "I'm a lot less depressed about people's choice of books (reading any kind of novel puts people ahead of the majority of Americans who don't read for pleasure) than I am about people who are snobs and hide behind "I'm just being honest," as if that's an excuse for insulting people."

Am I totally out of line here? But that whole, "Hey, it's okay for me to be insulting, because I'm just being honest!" bullshit really pisses me off. How is her comment any better than going up to someone and saying, "Oh wow, you're really ugly!" and then when said person is hurt, responding, "I just call em like I see em!"

Comments

[glowing-fish.livejournal.com]

Wait...is this a livejournal thread about a facebook thread?
Lets see how recursive the drama can get!

:)

[aprilstarchild.livejournal.com]

I posted this to LJ as a way of blowing off steam...none of the people in the thread on facebook are friends of mine on LJ!

[glowing-fish.livejournal.com]

Well, what is the point, then?

Oh, and you know Melody. That might be a flame war waiting to happen!

[taiba.livejournal.com]

One can be honest while still displaying tact. So no, you're not being out of line.

[browse.livejournal.com]

No, I don't find your response out of line at all. "K" sounds like a real jerk. Or someone having a really bad day.

[jenhowell.livejournal.com]

Well, I don't know. I don't think I would have worried too much about that one. I reserve my hissy fits for bigots mainly. But it isn't a serious crime either, I guess?

I don't know. Don't worry about it, but I'd also suggest not worrying about snobby people either. They are their own worst enemies.

[melody-rossiter.livejournal.com]

I would have responded like you. Out of line? No idea, but I know that when people come together, in public, on the internet, to share their opinions (ESPECIALLY if they are simply insulting everyone else), they deserve to hear the honest opinions of everyone else.

[5minutelimit.livejournal.com]

People who use cliches like "nothing personal" , I'm just being honest" or "don't take this the wrong way" to criticize people, really piss me off.
But to use those popular cliches to criticize one's literary choices truly shows one's ignorance. Hey, pick up another book, since you aren't learning anything new from what you're reading!

[aprilstarchild.livejournal.com]

What's funny to me, is that after that conversation, K was said something like, "Why do people always take it so personally when I tell them they're wrong?"

It was really hard not to respond...I'd decided I should leave it alone because it was someone else's post, and not even a very close friend or anything.

But, FOR FUCK'S SAKE, if it happens a lot, then maybe you're doing something wrong?!? Am I the only person who sees that as patently obvious? "Gee, I seem to offend a lot of people when I say something." Then, I dunno, stop saying it? Maybe the fault is yours and not theirs?

[encapsulate.livejournal.com]

That sounds like when I see someone say "I'm not here to make friends." which is what people say when they really mean "I'm an unrepentant asshole."

[aprilstarchild.livejournal.com]

I used to not mind having that kind of people in my social circle, but I've decided not to put up with that kind of shit anymore. I've even known people who were like, "haha, I'm just an asshole," to which I've responded, "Oh, that's too bad, I don't hang out with assholes" and I would get up and leave, or turn to talk to someone else. It really takes the wind out of their sails, let me tell you.

Yeah, it's an immature attitude in any case. It's almost always someone with low-self-esteem trying to prop themselves up. They think they're funny (and, to be honest, occasionally they are), but more often they're just hurtful.

[seams-unusual.livejournal.com]

damnit..now I wanna go read that thread!
um... what books were suggested, BTW?

[aprilstarchild.livejournal.com]

Apparently she didn't like several people suggesting Neil Gaiman books (specifically American Gods and Anansi Boys) and my suggestion of Philip Pullman, is what I'm guessing.

She said that Neil Gaiman's comics were good but that she found his novels "flat and disappointing." Well, seeing as both won a fuckton of awards...I mean, don't get me wrong, winning awards doesn't necessarily mean a book is good! But it does make it just a teeny bit more likely.

I mean, for gods sake, the guy won a Newbury award for one of his books! He doesn't write trash!

[seams-unusual.livejournal.com]

funny, dude!
As a side note: American Gods changed my life. I did not really like Anansi Boys....

[aprilstarchild.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but you don't think I have terrible taste for liking, I'll bet.

[5minutelimit.livejournal.com]

I haven't been able to get into those novels, but I certainly don't think other people have bad taste just because they like something that I don't.
But I think some people with poor social skills need to feel it is because they are "too intelligent."
Someone asked for reading suggestions on Jacqueline Carey's FB and a hundred people posted, mostly the same authors. I posted "I can't believe nobody suggested Ursula K Leguin!" Jacqueline posted "Now you have."
Then someone posted "Ugh, don't get me started on LeGuin". I wasn't sure whether it was an insult or a statement of support. Way to be ambiguous..

[aprilstarchild.livejournal.com]

See, if she said, "ack! Don't get me started on LeGuin!" I'd think it was more a statement of support....but the "ugh" in front of it leads me to think she didn't like it.

The only criticism I've ever had of LeGuin's work is of her early stuff and how sexist it is...but she's more than made up for that with her later stuff, so I can ignore/forgive it in the early books!

I can't imagine anyone saying truly bad stuff about her writing. She's a goddamn genius...in some ways I think she's actually a better writer than Neil Gaiman! If I had to write an academic paper on a book, I'd probably pick one of hers. Good lord, The Dispossessed is just rich with stuff to write about, especially from the perspective of a social science nerd...although plenty of people already have!