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Again, I'm not terribly surprised. I think I said as much (that we needed to be away from each other) in a previous conversation. Doesn't mean it doesn't affect me, just that I'm not surprised.
To some extent, it sometimes feels like I have to break up with you over and over and over....each stage of seperation hurts all over again. Most of those stages happen just on my own.
When someone has been pretty much the center of your life for near three years, how do you deal with being alone? When does it get easier? Just when I think I'm doing okay, suddenly I'm not, again. I'm getting so tired of the broken record inside my head. When I'm at work I'm stuck with my thoughts, and I'm starting to get sick of my own company. I'm going to be soooo damn glad when I start classes this fall, because it'll be something to occupy my mind for most of my waking hours. I've started reading fiction again, and now that I've paid off most of my library fines, I can start filling my hours with different places and plots. I just finished The Shelters of Stone, the lastest in the Earth's Children series, but I have another book, The Nanny Diaries, lined up. Woo hoo.
Now would be a good time to learn, really learn, to meditate. My thoughts float away like tiny pink bubbles.....leaving only peace behind. I can only hope.
Ugh. I smell like the chemicals in our hot tub. Now I know why it's perfumed most of the time. It's a much fouler scent than plain'ol pool chlorine.
What the hell am I going to do with myself?
To some extent, it sometimes feels like I have to break up with you over and over and over....each stage of seperation hurts all over again. Most of those stages happen just on my own.
When someone has been pretty much the center of your life for near three years, how do you deal with being alone? When does it get easier? Just when I think I'm doing okay, suddenly I'm not, again. I'm getting so tired of the broken record inside my head. When I'm at work I'm stuck with my thoughts, and I'm starting to get sick of my own company. I'm going to be soooo damn glad when I start classes this fall, because it'll be something to occupy my mind for most of my waking hours. I've started reading fiction again, and now that I've paid off most of my library fines, I can start filling my hours with different places and plots. I just finished The Shelters of Stone, the lastest in the Earth's Children series, but I have another book, The Nanny Diaries, lined up. Woo hoo.
Now would be a good time to learn, really learn, to meditate. My thoughts float away like tiny pink bubbles.....leaving only peace behind. I can only hope.
Ugh. I smell like the chemicals in our hot tub. Now I know why it's perfumed most of the time. It's a much fouler scent than plain'ol pool chlorine.
What the hell am I going to do with myself?
