I'm not dead! Also: my year-end post!
Dec. 28th, 2016 10:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aprilstarchildHOO BOY YOU GUYS TYPING INTO THIS BOX FEELS....WEIRD.
LET'S DO THIS
2016 bitches
1. What did you do in 2016 that you'd never done before?
I have been genuinely looking forward to answering this question for months: I fucking wrote and published fanfiction. 37,000 goddamn words of it, which isn't bad when you consider that I started in May with a tiny one-shot, didn't start again until late August, and didn't have my own laptop until a month and a half ago.
A good portion of said fic is graphic f/f sex. (I don't think I'm capable of writing slow burn--in my two multi-chapter fics, they fuck in the first or second chapter.)
It's all Amethyst/Peridot from Steven Universe. Because woooo I changed primary fandoms, y'all. One night in late February Seamus and I wanted to have a relaxing evening in, so we got stoned and started watching Steven Universe, and then one of the early episodes (Monster Buddies) made me sob, and anyway we ended up watching two hours' worth that night and blew through the rest of the series in...about a week?
I've literally never, in all my years of fandom, identified with a character as much as I have with Amethyst--and to a lesser extent, Peridot. But honestly I talk about that on my tumblr all the fucking time so I won't do it here.
What I will do here is brag like a bragging bragger: People like my fic. I've got room for improvement and I know it, but to my incredible surprise, I'm not a shitty fiction writer. My sometimes-beta says nice things, and so do some of my writer friends, and every time I post a new fic/new chapter of a fic I consistently get 150-200 hits in the first two days. Some of it I know is the result of the Amedot fandom being kinda tiny (last I checked there were 39 fics of Amethyst/Peridot marked "explicit" on ao3 and I wrote/am writing four of them) but honestly, y'all, I'm not bad.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
AHAHA I didn't keep any of them. Hoo boy.
I'm going easier this year. I'm gonna read at least most of the books I've bought in the last few years, including comic books.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nope. My facebook is covered in toddlers.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.
5. What countries did you visit?
None.
6. What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016?
A touring bike that fits, which means custom, which is why it's been on my list for like five years. LOLOL AND THERE IT IS AGAIN
Oh wait. Um...more time out of Portland, I guess? At all? (I mean yeah I went to Atlanta and Seattle and Chicago, which is fucking awesome, but all of that was airplanes/trains and hotels/guest rooms as opposed to...hiking or camping. So I guess I mean more time on the bicycle and outdoors, generally.)
7. What date from 2016 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The first time I watched Steven Universe. The first time I posted fanfiction. The first time I cosplayed Amethyst--which involved a long heavy wig and face paint and arm socks. Going to Chicagoland with Seamus for Thanksgiving--which included seeing Marc Chagall's America Windows in person again and meeting more of his family and realizing I really do like them a lot.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
WRITING FANFICTION. Holy shit, y'all. Nearly twenty years of reading it and thinking I'm just bad at fiction and don't have the right kind of brain for it, and all it took was an OTP that didn't have enough fic of them fucking and off I went.
9. What was your biggest failure?
I didn't go back to school? This stings less than I expected. I didn't do any bicycle touring, not even an overnight--that sucked.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I had one cold after nearly two years of no colds. That's....that's it.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Lol I dunno. Airfare etc. to 221bcon? Clothes? The stickers for my new laptop?
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Seamus was amazing as always.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Oh god. It's 2016. I can't even answer this without getting....more appalled and depressed.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent. Food. Cons. Clothes.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
WRITING FIC ABOUT SENTIENT SPACE ROCKS FUCKING LOL
16. What song will always remind you of 2016?
Oh lord. Ummmmmm. Freak and American Boy by Estelle (who voices Garnet in Steven Universe), Shine by Blitz the Ambassador. Lose It by Oh Wonder (god I hate everything else they do, alas). Radiohead's new album. Formation by Beyonce.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? about the same
ii. thinner or fatter? ehhhh probably about the same
iii. richer or poorer? about the same
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Camping/bicycle touring/anything that involved being on a bicycle if I'm honest
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
I'd say "fucking around on tumblr" but that's a goddamn lie
20. How did you spend Christmas?
My parents house, as per usual, had a good time.
21. Did you fall in love in 2016?
Stayed in love. I mean I also got some pretty hardcore friend-crushes.
22. How many one-night stands?
None.
And I got a "hall pass" for Sherlock Seattle and then nothing happened other than me sitting through a panel and a conversation in a hotel room, both of which I'd looked forward to because of the people involved, way too fucking high because I let her talk me into smoking more weed than I usually do. I jiggled my leg sitting through the panel on erotica writing because otherwise I thought I was gonna fall off the planet. Anyway so it turns out I am really, really bad at knowing when a woman younger than me is actually flirting via tumblr and cosplay. Either that or she changed her mind once we were in the same physical space again. I genuinely don't know.
(No but seriously if I don't manage to at least kiss a girl at either 221b con or Beach City Con (an SU convention on the east coast in October, and I already know a handful of people who plan to attend) I'm gonna fucking scream, especially since writing f/f and reading it and being in a fandom that is primary f/f is making me miss being with women so much it's unbelievable, and thank everything that Seamus is so understanding about the whole thing, holy shit.)
23. What was your favorite tv program?
LOLOLOLOLOL
(this doesn't even include the title character but WHATEVER, gaze upon my OTP)
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I really don't want to answer this. Yes. Large groups of them.
25. What was the best book you read?
I didn't read like....any books....but I sure did read some amazing fic.
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I'm officially old I mostly listened to shit I already liked
27. What did you want and get?
A FUCKING LAPTOP. Not only that, but a god damn 13.3" Macbook Air that my dad bought me outright after what I can only assume was guilt for voting wrong. I almost immediately covered it in stickers and shit.
28. What did you want and not get?
Any time camping/bike touring. At all. (year two!)
29. What was your favorite film of this year?
I saw very few movies this year?? I was tired a lot. Or obsessing over a cartoon.
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 37 on election day--pity me. I did some drinking at an election party and then left as it got progressively more depressing.
31. What is one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
The first female president of the United States. Obviously.
Enough money to live in a nicer place. I mean the rent and location on this place can't be beat, and I've officially lived here longer than I have anywhere in my entire life added together, but it really is falling apart more and more every year, and I don't get along with Danielle and Kate as well as I used to.
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016?
Nice dresses and shit when I go "out," pajamas and shit around the house, a uniform at work.
Also I wear makeup nearly every day now. I love it, and it's witchcraft, but this is the first time I've used up mascara and lipstick and foundation. o_O
That and progressively putting more stars on everything. I've always loved stars--I have a post here from 2009 where I think about getting star tattoos up one leg, and the only Lolita brand-name shit I've ever bought new (in 2014!) had a star theme--but joining the Steven Universe fandom (which has stars as a visual theme) has really pushed me into just...covering myself in stars.
33. What kept you sane?
Seamus. A new fandom.
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Oh lord. I don't have any hardcore crushes on celebrities right now.
I did find myself, um, fascinated with a cartoon character. Go ahead and judge me, I already did it plenty.
(I can legit stare at that gif for....far too long.)
That Vanity Fair cover of Benedict was pretty goddamn hot though.
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
I'm not even gonna answer this. It makes me wanna puke.
36. Who did you miss?
Katrina? My fandom friends I haven't seen in ages.
37. Who was the best new person you met?
If we go with an amorphous concept of "meet," probably Airy that I met through her SU fic. We chat on tumblr several nights most weeks. She lives in New Zealand, though; so god knows if I'll ever meet her in person.
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016?
Never underestimate the idiocy and racism of Americans.
Other years:
I didn't do it in 2003.
2004
2005
2006
I didn't do it in 2007. I did do a first sentence of each month meme, though.
2008
2009
2010
2011
2012, which I did a couple days into 2013!
2013
I didn't do one in 2014.
2015
LET'S DO THIS
2016 bitches
1. What did you do in 2016 that you'd never done before?
I have been genuinely looking forward to answering this question for months: I fucking wrote and published fanfiction. 37,000 goddamn words of it, which isn't bad when you consider that I started in May with a tiny one-shot, didn't start again until late August, and didn't have my own laptop until a month and a half ago.
A good portion of said fic is graphic f/f sex. (I don't think I'm capable of writing slow burn--in my two multi-chapter fics, they fuck in the first or second chapter.)
It's all Amethyst/Peridot from Steven Universe. Because woooo I changed primary fandoms, y'all. One night in late February Seamus and I wanted to have a relaxing evening in, so we got stoned and started watching Steven Universe, and then one of the early episodes (Monster Buddies) made me sob, and anyway we ended up watching two hours' worth that night and blew through the rest of the series in...about a week?
I've literally never, in all my years of fandom, identified with a character as much as I have with Amethyst--and to a lesser extent, Peridot. But honestly I talk about that on my tumblr all the fucking time so I won't do it here.
What I will do here is brag like a bragging bragger: People like my fic. I've got room for improvement and I know it, but to my incredible surprise, I'm not a shitty fiction writer. My sometimes-beta says nice things, and so do some of my writer friends, and every time I post a new fic/new chapter of a fic I consistently get 150-200 hits in the first two days. Some of it I know is the result of the Amedot fandom being kinda tiny (last I checked there were 39 fics of Amethyst/Peridot marked "explicit" on ao3 and I wrote/am writing four of them) but honestly, y'all, I'm not bad.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
AHAHA I didn't keep any of them. Hoo boy.
I'm going easier this year. I'm gonna read at least most of the books I've bought in the last few years, including comic books.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nope. My facebook is covered in toddlers.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.
5. What countries did you visit?
None.
6. What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016?
A touring bike that fits, which means custom, which is why it's been on my list for like five years. LOLOL AND THERE IT IS AGAIN
Oh wait. Um...more time out of Portland, I guess? At all? (I mean yeah I went to Atlanta and Seattle and Chicago, which is fucking awesome, but all of that was airplanes/trains and hotels/guest rooms as opposed to...hiking or camping. So I guess I mean more time on the bicycle and outdoors, generally.)
7. What date from 2016 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The first time I watched Steven Universe. The first time I posted fanfiction. The first time I cosplayed Amethyst--which involved a long heavy wig and face paint and arm socks. Going to Chicagoland with Seamus for Thanksgiving--which included seeing Marc Chagall's America Windows in person again and meeting more of his family and realizing I really do like them a lot.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
WRITING FANFICTION. Holy shit, y'all. Nearly twenty years of reading it and thinking I'm just bad at fiction and don't have the right kind of brain for it, and all it took was an OTP that didn't have enough fic of them fucking and off I went.
9. What was your biggest failure?
I didn't go back to school? This stings less than I expected. I didn't do any bicycle touring, not even an overnight--that sucked.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I had one cold after nearly two years of no colds. That's....that's it.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Lol I dunno. Airfare etc. to 221bcon? Clothes? The stickers for my new laptop?
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Seamus was amazing as always.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Oh god. It's 2016. I can't even answer this without getting....more appalled and depressed.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent. Food. Cons. Clothes.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
WRITING FIC ABOUT SENTIENT SPACE ROCKS FUCKING LOL
16. What song will always remind you of 2016?
Oh lord. Ummmmmm. Freak and American Boy by Estelle (who voices Garnet in Steven Universe), Shine by Blitz the Ambassador. Lose It by Oh Wonder (god I hate everything else they do, alas). Radiohead's new album. Formation by Beyonce.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? about the same
ii. thinner or fatter? ehhhh probably about the same
iii. richer or poorer? about the same
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Camping/bicycle touring/anything that involved being on a bicycle if I'm honest
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
I'd say "fucking around on tumblr" but that's a goddamn lie
20. How did you spend Christmas?
My parents house, as per usual, had a good time.
21. Did you fall in love in 2016?
Stayed in love. I mean I also got some pretty hardcore friend-crushes.
22. How many one-night stands?
None.
And I got a "hall pass" for Sherlock Seattle and then nothing happened other than me sitting through a panel and a conversation in a hotel room, both of which I'd looked forward to because of the people involved, way too fucking high because I let her talk me into smoking more weed than I usually do. I jiggled my leg sitting through the panel on erotica writing because otherwise I thought I was gonna fall off the planet. Anyway so it turns out I am really, really bad at knowing when a woman younger than me is actually flirting via tumblr and cosplay. Either that or she changed her mind once we were in the same physical space again. I genuinely don't know.
(No but seriously if I don't manage to at least kiss a girl at either 221b con or Beach City Con (an SU convention on the east coast in October, and I already know a handful of people who plan to attend) I'm gonna fucking scream, especially since writing f/f and reading it and being in a fandom that is primary f/f is making me miss being with women so much it's unbelievable, and thank everything that Seamus is so understanding about the whole thing, holy shit.)
23. What was your favorite tv program?
LOLOLOLOLOL
(this doesn't even include the title character but WHATEVER, gaze upon my OTP)
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I really don't want to answer this. Yes. Large groups of them.
25. What was the best book you read?
I didn't read like....any books....but I sure did read some amazing fic.
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I'm officially old I mostly listened to shit I already liked
27. What did you want and get?
A FUCKING LAPTOP. Not only that, but a god damn 13.3" Macbook Air that my dad bought me outright after what I can only assume was guilt for voting wrong. I almost immediately covered it in stickers and shit.
28. What did you want and not get?
Any time camping/bike touring. At all. (year two!)
29. What was your favorite film of this year?
I saw very few movies this year?? I was tired a lot. Or obsessing over a cartoon.
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 37 on election day--pity me. I did some drinking at an election party and then left as it got progressively more depressing.
31. What is one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
The first female president of the United States. Obviously.
Enough money to live in a nicer place. I mean the rent and location on this place can't be beat, and I've officially lived here longer than I have anywhere in my entire life added together, but it really is falling apart more and more every year, and I don't get along with Danielle and Kate as well as I used to.
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016?
Nice dresses and shit when I go "out," pajamas and shit around the house, a uniform at work.
Also I wear makeup nearly every day now. I love it, and it's witchcraft, but this is the first time I've used up mascara and lipstick and foundation. o_O
That and progressively putting more stars on everything. I've always loved stars--I have a post here from 2009 where I think about getting star tattoos up one leg, and the only Lolita brand-name shit I've ever bought new (in 2014!) had a star theme--but joining the Steven Universe fandom (which has stars as a visual theme) has really pushed me into just...covering myself in stars.
33. What kept you sane?
Seamus. A new fandom.
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Oh lord. I don't have any hardcore crushes on celebrities right now.
I did find myself, um, fascinated with a cartoon character. Go ahead and judge me, I already did it plenty.
(I can legit stare at that gif for....far too long.)
That Vanity Fair cover of Benedict was pretty goddamn hot though.
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
I'm not even gonna answer this. It makes me wanna puke.
36. Who did you miss?
Katrina? My fandom friends I haven't seen in ages.
37. Who was the best new person you met?
If we go with an amorphous concept of "meet," probably Airy that I met through her SU fic. We chat on tumblr several nights most weeks. She lives in New Zealand, though; so god knows if I'll ever meet her in person.
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016?
Never underestimate the idiocy and racism of Americans.
Other years:
I didn't do it in 2003.
2004
2005
2006
I didn't do it in 2007. I did do a first sentence of each month meme, though.
2008
2009
2010
2011
2012, which I did a couple days into 2013!
2013
I didn't do one in 2014.
2015
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2016-12-31 11:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-01-01 06:57 am (UTC)What's funny is that I avoided the SU fandom for a good year because I'd heard shitty things about it. There's at LEAST as high a percentage of truly toxic people in SU fandom as there are in Sherlock (ironic as hell, considering how much the show is about different kinds of kindness and love and how forgiveness) but....they're not concentrated around a small group of people.
I found my little corner of people who ship things I like and like the characters I like; and I've got a tiny handful of SU fandom friends that are my age, and I'm suddenly a Fandom Aunt, which is a role I'm okay with. It's my turn and all.
no subject
Date: 2017-01-01 12:03 am (UTC)I don't know if you know the entire history of 2015, but it was a very stressful year for me, with big changes. Big changes that I was having trouble really coming to grips with. My brain hadn't adjusted at all, I was still sitting in a room that was draining of my possessions but that for some reason I couldn't really comprehend that things were coming to an end.
So one day in early May 2015, I downloaded episodes of this TV show I had heard about. I thought I was with it because I had watched Adventure Time, but apparently there was an even newer thing. And that show was Steven Universe. Somehow, through a weird alchemy of cognition, it ignited something in my brain. Suddenly, I woke up every morning at 8 AM with the burning realization that I was in a new and changing world. It was this edgy, almost surreal feeling because months or even years of shock had worn off. Its hard to explain it, in retrospect, why watching Steven Universe changed so much for me. But for some reason, it did kind of shake me out of my shock. I owe Steven Universe a lot for that.
And at the beginning, because I was torrenting it over a slow connection, I was getting like a few 10 minute episodes a day. It was seriously a big thrill when another episode completed.
no subject
Date: 2017-01-01 07:05 am (UTC)(She's doing pretty good right now, whew.)
Steven Universe is comforting. If I've had a shitty day I find myself watching my fave episodes again. (Too Far is pretty much always on the list. And it always takes me twice as long to watch it as the episode's actual length because there are parts I rewind to watch over and over. Mostly the drill scene. Heh.)
I wish On the Run still made me cry. It did the first time I saw it, but it's worn off with repeated viewings, so it's just not as cathartic to watch as it used to be. Reformed just gives me too much secondhand embarrassment. Jailbreak is always great. Beta and Earthlings have some good moments, and so does Too Short to Ride. I love watching Peridot's arc too, starting with Catch and Release.
Lordy my obsessions with Peridot and Amethyst. Let me show you them. :D
ANYWAY now you know (because I linked to it in the post) where my Amethyst/Peridot porn is.
Speaking of cathartic:
Date: 2017-01-03 04:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-01-01 12:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-01-01 07:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-01-01 02:40 am (UTC)And yay for your very own laptop too!
no subject
Date: 2017-01-01 07:14 am (UTC)But yeah, this last May I realized I could probably write a story around a headcanon I had for Amethyst and Peridot, so I did, in the middle of the night when I still worked nights (and before my work blocked gmail and gdocs). I posted it to ao3 just as my shift was ending and got home and realized it was full of typos! But watching my hit count and kudos go up and getting comments was immediately pretty addictive. And it turns out that writing fiction is the kind of thing where the more you do it, the more ideas you get and you itch to do it again. One of my stories happened because I literally dreamed nearly the whole thing! I woke up going "okay I gotta write that down."
It helps that, unlike with Sherlock, there's just not a lot of stories for my OTP. I could be in the mood for nearly any kind of Sherlock fic and there are whole rec lists devoted to it, y'know? Whereas in my current fandom and ship, if I want a particular kind of story, I pretty much have to write it myself.
I LOVE THIS LAPTOP SO MUCH. Part of me is plenty aware that I do not need a fucking MacBook. But I love it. I love that when I take photos on my phone they show up on my laptop and vice-versa, and my computer shows me my texts and rings when people call me, and shares my open safari tabs with my phone. It's fuckin' great. And it's so pretty.