aprilstarchild | (no subject)

(no subject)

I don't think there's any way I can make it to the Oregon Country Fair this year, even to day-trip it. I just don't have the money.

I grabbed the Peach Pit (aka the newspaper/schedule for OCF) at People's yesterday. Trillian Green isn't performing this year, unfortunately; but Nanda is.

It's their fortieth anniversary this year (the art for it is awesome). It'll also be the first year I've missed it since I started going in 1998.

Bleh.

In other news: the unemployment agency sucks and I'm way stressed out. Shawn has been awesome, though.

Looking through the Peach Pit is just rubbing salt in the wound, I swear.

I can look at the huge map on the back and remember what almost every single section of it looks like/smells like/feels like.

No Patty's Fruit Pies, no Stage Left show, no Peachi The Dragon...waaah! I seriously might cry.

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I told Lani this too: You can't go to a local office for unemployment. They give you a post office box in Salem and a phone number, and the website says specifically that local offices no longer handle claims. Trust me, I'd go there in person in a second if I thought it would help--I'd almost always rather do that then call.

In terms of OCF: I know all those things, and I know you're trying to help, but being told to be thankful feels condescending to me, especially since none of those things are any kind of replacement for OCF. It's just a very specific different experience, one I start looking forward to every year in January. It's a space where I can truly feel like myself, a place that feels damn near created for me, among lots of other people, all day long; and being there for a day or three and soaking it in really sustains me for the rest of the year.

I am thankful for all those things, but I can still be really sad to miss OCF.

It sucks that the unemployment office won't let you come in person anymore. That is dumb. Especially when you can't get to talk to someone on the phone or online.

I'm sorry you can't o to OCF. I know how it is to do something all the time and then not having the funds to do it.

I'm totally not trying to condescend to you, April. Just trying to help you feel happier, maybe. I mean, it's okay to feel sad, too, and I'm not trying to say you're wrong or bad to feel sad about this, just trying to help you over the hump.

I do understand what it's like to miss something or not be a part of something that's important to you. Maybe OCF isn't the same thing for me, but not being in "The Vagina Monologues" this year hit me like a truck. I had been looking forward to being in the show again as soon as we left the stage the year before. So when I found out that I wouldn't have a part it was really hard.

I ended up coping in a similar way to what I mentioned above - I thought about things that were good and tried to find alternative ways to have fun while the VMs were going on. Cause it was a choice between that and being miserable. And that's all I was saying - you're my friend and I don't want you to be miserable.

As to the unemployment office - that both sucks and blows at the same time.

Would your family be able to help out a bit if the unemployment office doesn't come through?

I know you're just trying to help.

I don't know if my family would help out. I haven't talked to them about it. I was thinking of calling them anyway, though.

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