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[personal profile] aprilstarchild
Right now I'm reading Overqualified, a collection of fictional cover letters. It's not only apropos to my current situation, it's fucking hilarious.

So far this one is my favorite:

To: Human Resources, Credico
Re: Sales


Hello, I am writing to apply for the position of Sales Rep with your company Credico! I'm located in the city of Halifax, where your ad says that you are currently recruiting, and I am including my resume for your review. My resume details my experience in sales, and I assure you that I am the person for this position.

Sometimes I think dent resistant side panels on a car are a waste of money, but then I remember that ladies be always throwing themselves at my car, and titties can wreak havoc on a paint job.

When it's warm, women like to take their titties out for a walk. You never see them in the winter, but in the hot months I guess their titties just start scratching at the door and yowling, and they need to be appeased.

Titties can be like rabid fucking animals, man. They claw at the carpet and they tear shirts down to the navel.

TITTIES TITTES TITTIES.

FUCK.

Yours,

Joey Comeau
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aprilstarchild

August 2018

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