Dec. 10th, 2003

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Oh crap. I think I just failed math. Which means I'm disqualified from financial aid. Okay, maybe not. But I couldn't figure out how to do the last problem, which was worth like ten points, and I couldn't figure out how to do another one worth five, but I think I might get partial credit on that one. Shit. I have no idea. I think I needed like an A to pass the class, and I don't think I got an A.

Waiting for grades to come out next week is going to be the most anxiety-ridden thing I can think of. And I thought just taking the exam would be bad. Bleh! What good is getting five things right that are two points apiece if I screw up something worth ten points? I won't even get partial credit on that one. In theory, if I'd stayed there and stared at it long enough, I would have figured out how to do it. That's actually happened to me before....but not very often. I'm sorely tempted to go to the teacher's office and ask, but I don't think I have the guts.

It must be said, btw, that fewer things help defeat your self-confidence faster than realizing you've forgotten your calculator. Which I had. So I had to borrow one from the teacher, but I have an 86 and she had an 89, and I couldn't figure out how to do logs on it, but I wasn't sure I'd set the problem up right anyway, and maybe I shoulda just used ln, because all that was there that I could see was ln and e to the power of x. No just plain LOG button. I was too embarrased by the possibility that I'd set up the problem wrong, and that I'd already been up to her desk three times, to go up and ask about it. Turns out that when I was busy writing my PS211 paper, she was telling people that they could bring in one notecard covered in notes to the exam. I guess they wore her down after all. But I, of course, didn't have one, so I had to ask if I could pull out my own notecards I had been using as flashcards, just the ones with the financial formulas on them. I didn't realize until then what was going on, or else I would have asked earlier so I could have the formulas for parabolas and a particular kind of exponential function, that fraction kind. n(x)/d(x) and all that crap. I'm too scared to look at my notes and see if I did it wrong.

On the other hand, I did the Jordan-Gauss elimination correct. I know I did, because I went back and checked my answer against the original equations. What was funny was that half the class wasn't getting it right, judging by their bitching to the teacher.

Maybe she'll give me a pass just out of sympathy. On the other hand, maybe she won't: I did miss a lot of class. I grabbed a copy of the form to appeal if I fail, in any case. I hope to Gods I don't have to use it.

On a side note, I did some calculating last night, and unless I completely screwed up (which, obviously, is possible), my exam in PS211 didn't really matter. Whether I failed or got a perfect score, I have a B in the class. If I failed completely, it's a 80.25 percent, and if I got a perfect score it's 87.75. Ha! Tres amusing.
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The downtown library has a lot of harp sheet music. Most of it is for pedal harp, but still. Most of it is really old--I found a technique book from 1912. That part of the library smells good.

I have entirely too much reading material now: three magazines (Sci-fi because it had Viggo and Elijah interviews, Adbusters 'cause I like it, Bust because I like it normally and it's got an abnormally hot picture of Kelly Osbourne on the cover), a book (Philosophy of Wicca, I think) to review for Sisterspirit's newsletter, I read the Portland Mercury on the max and have the Willamette Week, a book on Radiohead from the library (because if there's one thing I am, it's a Fan), I'm still not done with Women and ADD, and three harp books for my paper tomorrow. One is as old as all that sheet music.

The lady at the counter when I bought the magazines was crying...it turns out her cat is really sick. I felt really bad for her, being stuck at work. Then, on the way home.....we hit a cat. Bleh.

Tomorrow: I write a harp paper, and take my folk music exam. Then on to the Grotto and to my parent's house for the evening, to go tree hunting the next day. Yuppers.

Also: A bar in NE Portland, on Monday, is showing FOTR and TTT for free, with a costume contest. I really need to get on that. It's 21 and over only, sorry.

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