(no subject)

So near as I can tell I probably gave Tony my throat virus because we were drinking from the same cup of pop. Oops.

My throat still hurts like hell, and I prefer lying down to anything else, and I have a shitload of stuff to do today. I need to pay my last month's rent on my storage unit, I need to go to school and apply for a job on campus and pay down my library fines so I can sign up for more classes. And before I can do any of this I need to go to Freddy's and cash my check. Maybe I'll catch the bus to school from there.

Talked to Cherie last night, she said that if I can't afford it, I can be carless for a little while after I move in. That's a bit of a relief. I need to talk to her about all this pretty damn badly. ARGH. I just realized that I have no idea where most of my paystubs are. My credit union will not give me a loan at *this* rate. Grr.

I'm so fucking depressed. I never did call Kaiser to get on my meds for school. I can't just keep taking my dad's metadate. I don't know where my Kaiser card is (it wasn't in my wallet). I think I'm just going to tell them it got stolen too. Because the last time I was sick with this, I went to Kaiser and they gave me a bunch of Tylenol 3 and then I was all happy and got over it in a couple of days. I lived in four-hour increments on that stuff. I'd wake up, take two more, go to the bathroom, eat a little something, drink a huge glass of water, and by then I'd be getting sleepy again, so back to bed I'd go. It was great. But this time around I haven't gotten sick enough to bother. I can still get around, I just don't like it as much. My being depressed is probably not helping. *whimper*

Want my dog?

Blarg. Went to PCC. Found out I can't work at the bookstore because the training day is a day I work (i.e. Thursday). Found out I can't work in the computer lab because I don't know enough about computers. Tomorrow I try Sylvania. If the bookstore there won't hire me, I'm stuck working at the library. There are worse things, I suppose, but it doesn't pay as well as the other two places, and I can't do my homework. So I'm getting all panicky again.

Went to Pizza Schmizza and the Tanasbourne library. They wouldn't check me out any books 'cause I didn't have any ID. They had books I wanted, too, like The Joy of Sex. I really like the pictures in it. I didn't get too good a lock at them in the library because I was embarrassed. Which is really really stupid. Oh no! *gasp!* I'm a sexual person!

Went to Barnes and Noble and managed to get out with just two magazines. Whew.

Went to the Beaverton central branch of the library. I remembered I had the receipt from PCC of when I paid my library fees, and because it was a semi-official document with my full name and address, they accepted it as ID. Wasn't that nice of them? I checked out a book on meditation, another on making everyday life sacred, and a zen buddhist book about depression. I wasn't planning on looking for books on depression, but when I started to read it halfway through I started to cry right there in the library, so I knew I had to get it. I'm feeling feeling so empty (except for moments of stark panic and anger) over the past couple of weeks, I figured that was probably a good sign. They didn't have The Joy of Sex. I looked.

My dad is going to shoot one of our dogs unless someone else offers to adopt him. I tried to call Cherie but she's at work. He chews his paws so bad they bleed on things, he shakes his ears nonstop, and no matter how many times you let him out, he pisses and shits everywhere. It's driving us all batty. I'm not sure shooting him is the best idea....but it's out of my hands. We adopted him from Cherie. I figured if he was around lots of other dogs all the time he might get distracted out of it. Who knows?

Also, my dad's back is bothering him again, which means he is even more hellish to live with.