(no subject)
Feb. 14th, 2005 07:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
So, I turn my phone on during my last break to arrange my ride home. I had a voice mail from my mom telling me she had big news in an oddly excited voice. What, did they win the lottery? I had no idea. I called my mom at work and--my youngest brother is engaged.
Chris and Ashley have been dating since she was a freshman and he was a ...junior, I think. She's in her senior year at Westview high school. She's recently turned 18, and Chris is 19. I'm excited, my parents are excited, her parents are excited (well, her mom is, I dunno about her stepdad, who doesn't like Chris all that much).
It's not a surprise to any of us. He bought her a promise ring for Christmas a couple years back (which near as I can tell, a promise ring just means, "We're too young to get properly engaged, but we are indeed Pretty Serious").
He had work and she had color guard practice tonight, so they celebrated V day on Saturday. He took her to this nice Japanese place in Portland (she's taken Japanese all through high school and plans to major in it at PSU), and conspired with the waitress--she brought Ashley some cherry blossoms with the ring in the middle.
Yes, they are young. This isn't as big a deal to my family as it would be to most other people--my parents married young. As a matter of fact, my mom never got a proper engagement ring--just a promise ring. When they were married she was 19 and my dad had turned 18 a few days ago.
They're definitely not planning on children any time soon. She wants to get her bachelor's. I told him this over a year ago: if he does anything to jeopardize her college career, I'll hurt him. She's really smart and has gotten good grades all through high school.
Funny story: after dinner they went to Fred Meyer to show off the ring--DJ and Bink work there, as do a lot of their friends. Then to the restaurant across the street where her mom works--and she got really excited apparently. When she went to show her stepdad, she was worried about his reaction, and apparently had a guilty look on her face as she walked in the door. He said, "You're not pregnant, are you?" *giggle*
I'm going to be the last of my siblings to get married, you watch. I just know it. I have not decided whether that bothers me or not.
Chris and Ashley have been dating since she was a freshman and he was a ...junior, I think. She's in her senior year at Westview high school. She's recently turned 18, and Chris is 19. I'm excited, my parents are excited, her parents are excited (well, her mom is, I dunno about her stepdad, who doesn't like Chris all that much).
It's not a surprise to any of us. He bought her a promise ring for Christmas a couple years back (which near as I can tell, a promise ring just means, "We're too young to get properly engaged, but we are indeed Pretty Serious").
He had work and she had color guard practice tonight, so they celebrated V day on Saturday. He took her to this nice Japanese place in Portland (she's taken Japanese all through high school and plans to major in it at PSU), and conspired with the waitress--she brought Ashley some cherry blossoms with the ring in the middle.
Yes, they are young. This isn't as big a deal to my family as it would be to most other people--my parents married young. As a matter of fact, my mom never got a proper engagement ring--just a promise ring. When they were married she was 19 and my dad had turned 18 a few days ago.
They're definitely not planning on children any time soon. She wants to get her bachelor's. I told him this over a year ago: if he does anything to jeopardize her college career, I'll hurt him. She's really smart and has gotten good grades all through high school.
Funny story: after dinner they went to Fred Meyer to show off the ring--DJ and Bink work there, as do a lot of their friends. Then to the restaurant across the street where her mom works--and she got really excited apparently. When she went to show her stepdad, she was worried about his reaction, and apparently had a guilty look on her face as she walked in the door. He said, "You're not pregnant, are you?" *giggle*
I'm going to be the last of my siblings to get married, you watch. I just know it. I have not decided whether that bothers me or not.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-15 08:55 am (UTC)Don't worry he and I are'nt in any hurry to get hitched, I already get to wake up next to him every morning w/o a ring or paper :)
no subject
Date: 2005-02-16 03:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-17 08:03 pm (UTC)that's awesome. I'm happy for them...
so many proposals today.... *sigh*
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Date: 2005-02-19 02:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-19 04:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-19 10:45 pm (UTC)I'm at this point in my life where it's like, there's a huge part of me that really wants to get married. But there's so many things I want to do that would be made hard if I had a partner to worry about (joining the Peace Corps, going to college in Olympia, going to New Zealand....). In theory, the right person would want to do all those things with me. Ha. Not bleeping likely I'd find someone like that. *shrug*
So my urge to do wild and fun things is constantly fighting with my urge to find someone I love enough to commit to. *sigh*
no subject
Date: 2005-02-19 11:02 pm (UTC)A part of me wonders if he's not ready at 26 after over 5 and a half years of a decent relationship, is he ever going to be ready?
Part of me is insecure and thinks that maybe getting married isn't the issue in and of itself...
But more that he doesn't want to marry me.
And yes, I know he'll probably read this here. I'm saying it anyway. Cause it's on my mind.
hence the sigh.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-19 11:13 pm (UTC)It's odd to me, because I know that 25 is the average age for American women to get married (for a first marriage, anyhow).
I can see that you'd be worried. Especially since he won't talk about. Honestly, I think that's a discussion you need to have, after five years. Whether he wants to or not. If he's never going to be ready, or doesn't see it happening in a few years, I'd rethink the relationship if I were you. Freaky but true. I broke up with Tyson partially because I realized that if I couldn't make up my mind after three years, the answer was probably no. That's something you should be absolutely sure of.
But, I'm not you, and I'm not Tom. And I like both of you. Tom is sweet and funny, and when I'm around either of you I end up laughing a lot.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-19 11:44 pm (UTC)I wouldn't have made the move out here if I hadn't already been pretty certain about my feelings for him.
And I understand the "wanting to be able to support a family" idea. I agree with it, because it makes sense to me. I just worry if in 4 years we're still going to be sitting here exactly as we are now. I know he wanted at one point to finish up with school, but for the past few months he's been ambivelant as to whether or not he wants to continue with schooling at all.
But yeah. Definitely a conversation we need to have.
Just one that's hard to bring up.
Cause I don't want to be the nagging girlfriend.